SPOTLIGHT

Jenny Lee Lindberg

As an extension of the personal essay section in our print magazine we have a special contribution from one of our favourite musicians, Jenny Lee Lindberg. Under the title of “I Changed My Mind” Jenny has written a beautiful & personal piece which we’re very happy to share.

I Changed My Mind
 

I've changed my mind.. Again.
Every hour, another minute,
this second,
Indecision at its finest..
I tried to keep it consistent, as I have been going crazy w the back and forth,
But alas, strong discomfort has risen, almost identical to the crazy I have felt before.
It is in this moment, I am proud of my inconsistency..
Relativity comes to mind..
I would not, in most cases,  be fond of my flightiness ...
Right now, I stand strong and wear what I have chosen, (for now)
On my sleeves.
I remember this feeling..
Making a point, voicing your opinions and standing strong by what you believe, what you feel is right..
It feels good, so it must be time for a change??
Things start to subtly shift..

I feel unsatisfied ,
I'm no longer happy w my decision ..
I'm getting antsy
Of course you are, I say to myself.
Sit tight..
You know the drill ..
The wiser, more relaxed, decisive , calm and collected side of me, (a really tiny section, that is never in real control) speaks up and makes everything okay for a millisecond.
AND.. I'm back..
W the questions, the doubt , shoot, at this point, the fear.
I want to know!
I want to decide..
And it's nowI realize , I can't commit. I panic.
What if I'm severely disappointed?
Do it anyway..
The next moment will come,
and you will choose what suits
You best.
So, be down for the momentary decision.

Jenny Lee Lindberg

 

Thanks to Jamie at Rough Trade.